Three messages you can copy
Edit the wording so every line is true for you before you send it.
The first ask
Hi. I'd like to try keeping the kids' schedule and shared costs in one place, so there is less back and forth by text. I found an app called Two Porch Lights. You'd have your own account, it costs you nothing to join, and we'd each see the same calendar and expense list. This page explains what you'd be joining and what each of us can see: twoporchlights.com/invited. Would you be open to trying it?
One follow-up
Hi. Checking back about the app for the kids' calendar and expenses. The schedule is in it, so there is something to look at. Joining costs you nothing, you'd have your own account, and you can leave later. This page explains what you'd be joining: twoporchlights.com/invited. If it's not for you, that's okay.
After mediation or a court order
Hi. Following up on keeping the kids' schedule and expenses in one shared place. One option is Two Porch Lights. It costs you nothing to join, you'd have your own account, and we'd each see the same calendar and costs. This page explains what you'd be joining: twoporchlights.com/invited. If you'd prefer a different app, tell me which one and I'll look at it.
If your order names a specific app, use that one, or ask your attorney before switching.
Once they say yes, send the invite itself from Two Porch Lights. On the website, the Today screen and setup have Text the invite (on a phone), Email the invite, Copy the invite, and Share invite where your browser offers it. In the phone apps, the same two places have Text the invite, Share invite, Email the invite and Copy the invite, and a button to choose your co-parent from your phone's contacts. If your app shows only Share invite, update it to the latest version. You send it yourself, from your own phone or computer. Two Porch Lights does not send the invite for you, and never sends text messages.
What your co-parent gets free
- The shared calendar and parenting schedule, expenses and receipts, payments, messages, check-ins, Kid Kits and kid info.
- Their own account, their own private journal, and the phone apps.
- No credit card and no payment to join.
- One subscription covers the shared space for both parents, and either parent can be the one who subscribes. If nobody subscribes when the free trial ends, the space becomes read-only for each of you and nothing is deleted.
- Not included for them: a Tax Center of their own, unless they add their own plan.
- They may want to read what they are joining first. The three messages above point them to that page.
What works while you wait
It works for you on its own. You can set the schedule, log expenses with receipts, keep your private journal, log exchange check-ins, put your parenting plan on file and ask it questions, and export PDF and CSV records. Everything you add to the shared space, including any messages you write, is there for your co-parent to see when they join. Your journal and your Tax Center stay private. The free trial is counted from the day you signed up: 30 days, and 60 days from that same day while your co-parent is in the space. If it has ended and nobody has subscribed, the space is read-only until one of you does. Nothing is deleted.
If they say no
You can keep using it yourself (on your own, the free trial is 30 days from the day you signed up), and the invite stays open. One follow-up is enough. A no is an answer, and asking again can make a yes less likely. If you work with a mediator or parenting coordinator, you can ask them to suggest a shared app in your next session. There is a summary for professionals here.